All The Way (Natexus Book 2) Read online

  “I’m trying.”

  “It’s just me.”

  “You say that like you’re no big deal.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Easy for you to say. You don’t have to look at you.”

  “No, I have to look at you. Trust me, that’s a much bigger deal.”

  “I’m sorry,” I muttered in embarrassment. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  “I think I might.”

  “Of course you do.” I smiled, rolling my eyes in feigned annoyance.

  Curling his fingers into my back, he leaned impossibly closer until our chests were pressed together. “This is the biggest moment of our lives. It’s what we’ve both been dreaming of for years, right?”

  “Right.” I exhaled again, sliding my hands around the back of his neck carefully.

  “And you just want it to be perfect.”

  “Beyond perfect.”

  “And you’re panicking about whether it will ever feel as good as the first time we made love.”

  “I am?”

  He nodded gently, his eyes falling to my lips as he spoke again. “That night was incredible. I’ve never had a night like that since and a part of me knows we’ll never find those exact feelings again.”

  “Oh…” My face fell, and I tried not to sound disappointed, but Alex’s eyes were soon staring back into mine, his face alive with amusement and excitement.

  “I don’t want to go back to what we had, Nat,” he began. “Don’t get me wrong, it was perfect for who we were on that night and in those times. Every time I think about the magic we created in that room—the rain pouring heavily onto the roof, the smell of our wet clothes, our bodies slipping together, you whispering in my ear…” He paused, releasing a small breath of air. “I come alive. I do. But then I remember how the sun came up and how sick I felt knowing that I didn’t have long left with you. My God, it killed me. It almost actually killed me to push you away and it cripples me to think about the sadness in your eyes the morning after, when you silently said your goodbyes to that sofa and to the memories we left behind.”

  “You knew about that?”

  “Of course I did. Those goodbyes were written all over your face. It was the best night of my life, but I want us to go forward and create something new now, something neither of us has ever felt or experienced before. Do you hear me? I want us to stop looking back, to stop thinking about the past. I want us to make new memories. I want us to be twenty-two together and screw like twenty-two-year-olds do.”

  The colour of fire rushed to my cheeks at once, my stomach quickly flipping in excitement as I squeezed my thighs together and watched Alex’s face grow brighter and more alive with every word that he spoke.

  “Shit,” he said with a laugh. “I want us to stay in bed for seven days, only getting out to bathe, order room service, or use the bathroom. I want us to laugh at four o’clock in the morning over stupid things. I want us to fall asleep at two in the afternoon just because we have nowhere else we need to be. I want to find out everything about you—every moment I’ve missed out on—and I want you to help me figure out who I am again because I swear you know me more than I have ever known myself. You see the potential in me that I’ve never been able to see for myself.”

  My shoulders relaxed as his enthusiasm grew, and as I saw him come to life before me, I wondered how brightly he was going to shine in this new world of ours. My grin was ridiculous as I raised both brows and watched him watching me.

  “More than anything, I want to make so many amazing memories with you that the first time we made love won’t even sit in the top one hundred happiest moments of our lives together when we’re old and grey.”

  “I love you,” I practically sang to him.

  “I’m going to make you so happy, Nat, if you’ll let me.”

  “I’ll let you,” I whispered. “But this is a two-way street. You have to let me make you happy in return.”

  Running his hands up and down my spine, Alex rolled his hips against me and pressed his forehead to mine.

  “You don’t need my permission. You’re already making me the happiest fucker alive. I’m yours to do whatever you please with. All the way.”

  “All the way.” I grinned.

  “But…”

  I froze, my eyes straining as I looked up from under my lashes and waited.

  Alex’s small growl rumbled in the back of his throat before he moved his hands back down to my waist and slowly began to peel himself away until there was an inch of space between us that I desperately didn’t want there.

  “I’m not going to rush this first time with you.”

  “Wh-what?” I blinked. “I’m fine,” I croaked, immediately cursing myself for sounding anything but fine. “I’m fine,” I tried again, sounding even worse. “Goddamn it, there’s something wrong with my voice or some shit.” I reached up to wiggle my throat, opening my mouth as I rolled my jaw around.

  “Oh, yeah?” He scowled playfully, trying to peek into my mouth. “You got a frog stuck down there or something?”

  “I’hink I’av,” I strained out.

  “Let me see if I can help you out.” Alex curled his hand around mine, pulling it away from my throat before he cupped my jaw in both hands.

  His kiss was exactly what I needed, an instant cure to dilute the pressure I felt to make this moment more perfect than it already was, and despite the ache between my legs that was crying out for me to get a grip of myself and throw him down on the bed, I decided that he was, in fact, right. I was too nervous for this to happen right here and now. I needed a shower after the long journey. I needed to hold his hand some more, feel his chest under my palms, stare into his eyes and study his face after years of being apart. I needed just a little bit more time to pinch myself and realise that this was really real. I could give myself that. I could give myself some breathing space.

  There was just one thing I wasn’t going to admit to him out loud. I was giving myself an hour to find my courage and dive into this dream with him. One hour. That’s all we had. I was making love to Alex tonight, whether he approved of my actions or not.

  I’d tie him down and gag him if I had to. I was done wasting time.

  But something about the way Alex held me and kissed me reassured every one of my demons that I really wouldn’t have that much trouble convincing him at all.

  He wanted me as much as I wanted him. It was a magical moment to feel that certainty.

  It was a magical day, and I was about to start a magical life with a truly magnificent man.

  Chapter Three

  “What are you doing?” he asked with amusement, watching me as I fussed around the hotel room. Alex was lying on the bed, both his arms tucked behind his head while I tried not to focus on the bare patch of skin that was showing around his stomach where his shirt had ridden up.

  “I’m distracting myself.”

  “From?”

  “Thinking.”

  “About?”

  “You.”

  “You’re adorable, Vincent.” His laughter was rough, lazy, relaxed.

  My cheeks flamed again, and I internally chastised my body for the way it was bickering with my heart to harden up. It wanted a release—an Alex Law induced release—but I had a plan, and that plan was to unpack the bags, settle in, and make this place somewhat cosy for the next ten days. The Landmark London Hotel was something I was certain I would never experience again. The room we were staying in was more like an apartment, and the only reason I was able to afford such fine surroundings was thanks to my parents helping me to fund this trip, wanting me to stay in places they knew weren’t homeless shelters. Both Mum and Dad wanted to keep me safe. At first, I’d told them I couldn’t accept it, but once my father had given me ‘that’ look, letting me know it really wasn’t up for discussion, I conceded and let them spoil me. Apparently, he knew someone who used to be a porter at the hotel, meaning there had been a few strings pulled to get me in at s
uch short notice.

  It was all my birthdays and Christmases rolled into one.

  I was being thoroughly spoiled by everyone.

  The room was spacious and light. The king-sized bed hugged only half of the back wall, and the interior of the whole place was pale mint and blue running alongside warm welcoming cream and gold. Sitting by the huge bay windows that overlooked London was a coffee table with two small sofas on either side and a pile of highbrow magazines stacked on top.

  It was a surprise to me that I saw as many details of the place as I did. The only thing I had been focused on since we pushed through the door was Alex.

  I was fussing and I knew it. Within thirty minutes, I’d unpacked my bag, placed my toiletries in the bathroom and brushed my hair approximately seven hundred and forty-two times, until I had nothing left to do but turn and face him again.

  He hadn’t moved. His gaze had followed me everywhere I had gone. I could feel it burning holes of lust into my skin, much the same way they had done at Suzie and Paul’s wedding, only this time I didn’t want that fire on the surface of me to ever stop. There was no guilt attached to him undressing me with his eyes. I only wished I could pluck up the courage to let him do it with his hands.

  Get it together, Nat.

  When I finally spun on the heels of my feet and turned to face him, my heart began to dance again.

  “Hi.” I smiled pathetically.

  Alex closed his eyes as his laughter poured free. God, he was beautiful, even when he was mocking me. I didn’t have much time to over think or worry. He was soon looking at me again, pushing himself upright before crawling across the mattress and landing on his knees at the end of the bed. When he straightened up, his shoulders relaxed, and his smile broke free.

  “Come here,” he instructed, holding out his hand for me to take.

  I took it slowly, pressing my lips together when he pulled me closer and curled both of his arms around my waist. I held onto his biceps, leaning back against his strong arms so I could see as much of him as possible.

  “Want to know something?” he asked.

  “Mmhmm.” I nodded, not wanting to squeak again.

  “I think I’m actually more nervous about this than you are.”

  “Oh, I doubt that.”

  Alex’s eyes twinkled under the seductive lighting of the room. “Natalie, the last time I was in a hotel room with you, you walked away from me, and I thought I’d never get the chance to do anything more with you than spend my life jogging past your house and catching glimpses of you from afar.”

  Pain flickered across my face at the memories. I felt it form like a big shadow over my eyes. “I’m–”

  Alex shot a single finger up to my lips, pressing it against them before he shook his head and smiled. “I’m not telling you this for us to go back over everything again. Remember, we’re living for today. I’m just trying to explain to you that I’ve spent years dreaming about this moment and now that it’s here, now that I have you and you’re all mine, I’m terrified I’m going to fuck this up.”

  “You couldn’t,” I mumbled from behind his finger, causing him to drop his hand back around my waist. “You couldn’t mess this up. This isn’t just about sex with you and me. It’s always been more than that.”

  “So much more.”

  “Although sex would be very nice.”

  “Oh, it would be more than nice.”

  “I’m overthinking everything, aren’t I?”

  “Definitely overthinking.” He nodded enthusiastically, and I wanted to sink my teeth into that smirking mouth of his just to show him who was boss. My stomach flipped at the thought, and I could feel the trembling of my knees begin to rumble beneath me. “But there’s a reason why you’re so nervous. There’s something holding you back, and even if you don’t know what it is, it’s okay. I need you to know that you have all the time in the world. I can wait. I will wait. You never have to do anything just to make someone else happy, ever, ever again. You hear me?”

  “I hear you.” I smiled softly, pushing myself closer to him.

  “Good.” Alex sighed like he was relieved, and I took that as my cue to close the gap and kiss him. There wasn’t anything in the world that compared to the feel of him against my lips. Alex wasn’t your average twenty-two-year-old. His mind was wiser, his hands felt rougher, his jaw was strong, and his eyes held an extraordinary amount of life and awareness in them. But his lips… Oh, his lips. They were the most sensuous experience I’d ever had—a perfect combination of soft yet firm. The control was always there, but the movements and the sweep of his tongue across mine made me melt in his arms until it felt like my eyes were rolling into the back of my head. I was only aware of the soft moans that were escaping me because of the way he paused to smile against our kiss.

  “There’s my girl,” he whispered into my mouth. “There’s my Natalie.”

  My eyes flickered open, and I was suddenly aware of the fact that the only person who was stopping me from living the dream was, in fact, me.

  I’d wanted to shower before getting naked for him. I’d wanted to make sure I was smooth and soft in all the right places, and that I smelled of coconut lotions and alluring potions. I’d wanted him to drown in the scent of me, the way I always seemed to drown in him. But as I stared into his eyes and saw all our history lying there, as well as a world of possibilities for our future, I suddenly didn’t care about anything other than being with him.

  “I’m your Natalie.” My voice was quiet but confident, and my hands roamed up to his shoulders, my fingers spreading as I dragged my nails into the small curve of his neck before moving around to tug on the ends of his hair. “And you’re my Alex.”

  “Every inch of me belongs to you.”

  His breathing got shallower, and I allowed myself a moment to watch the rise and fall of his chest before I studied the way his lips parted and he sucked in a breath. I could feel the goosebumps rising at the nape of his neck, and with every visible reaction he gave me, I grew stronger and more assured that waiting any longer was nothing short of stupid.

  I leaned forward, hovering my lips only an inch away from his ear before whispering, “Natexus.”

  “All the way, baby,” he mouthed, while his fingers curled into the back of my shirt with no tenderness at all.

  “Exactly.” I grinned. Then I pushed Alex back onto the mattress with as much force as I could. His body bounced, his legs flying out underneath him and falling off the edge of the bed. When his eyes popped open and met mine, I stood there in front of him and began to unbutton my shirt, making sure I never looked away. His gaze fell, dropping to where I was opening each button as slowly as I could manage.

  It didn’t take me long to remove my jeans, and when my fingers went to unclip my bra, Alex’s hand shot up in the air urgently.

  “No,” he called out, a little breathless.

  I tilted my head to one side and raised a brow. “No?”

  “Let me do it,” he begged. “Let me do the rest. You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to undress you.”

  I took that as my cue to join him. Climbing onto the bed until I was straddling Alex’s waist, my bare thighs stroking against his jeans, I eventually leaned down and pressed my chest to his.

  Alex’s hands found my hair and pushed it back over my shoulders with a tenderness that screamed of his adoration for me. “I love you.”

  “I know, but say it again… One more time.”

  “I love you.”

  I closed my eyes to let myself drown in those three words before I looked at him again and grinned. “I love you.”

  “And I’m about to turn your whole world upside down.”

  “Again?” I whispered.

  “With brute force.”

  “God, I hope so,” I breathed out shamelessly.

  His erection was taunting me, pressing against the lower parts of my stomach that were tight with desperate need and desire. I knew we could go back and forth al
l night long, but all I wanted, all I craved, was to feel him inside of me. As if reading my mind, Alex bucked his hips slowly, riding his arse against the bed in a hypnotic rhythm until we were both working together to create more friction against one another. His hands found the backs of my thighs before they began to make their way up my body at a frustrating pace. They seemed to go everywhere. My skin was caressed, gently scratched, grabbed and soothed over and over again, and his fingers only ever skimmed under the edges of my underwear, not allowing themselves to explore any farther just yet. I knew what he was doing. He was soaking it in, and taking his time. He was being gentle before he unleashed himself on me, luring me into a false sense of security before he made his mark on my body.

  Everywhere felt hot, and my kisses were greedy as I lost myself in the myriad of sensations that were running through me. I was handing everything I had over to Alex for the first time ever without any reservations or fears of what the aftermath would bring. There wasn’t sadness or heartache in our eyes this time, just pure need and excitement with a touch of disbelief causing our smiles to occasionally bump against one another or interrupt the kiss.

  While my breathing became louder—the quiet mewls of appreciation falling freely now—Alex’s breaths became heavy and dark. Every brush of my touch over his erection made his growls turn more desperate, more out of control, until the final stroke had his hands flying to my bra and practically ripping it from my back. With every second that passed us by, we were losing the tenderness of our reunion, and the only thing that either of us had in the very depths of our stomachs was fire. It was a fire that was going to burn us alive if we didn’t try to contain it. A fire that neither one of us had any desire to keep under control, because after too long apart, it was obvious that Natexus would happily burn together before ever separating again.

  There was no going back.

  I didn’t want to go back.

  Neither did he.

  The second he ripped my thong from me, snapping it in two with an ease that should have surprised me, but didn’t, Alex stepped up a gear. His fingers dug into my waist before he lifted me off him and flipped me onto my back so I was lying beneath him, naked and unashamed.